The current generation of teens faces a challenge unlike any before them. With the popularization of mobile devices and the proliferation of sexually explicit material via television, movies, magazines, books, music, and Internet, teens now have more access to a greater amount of sexually explicit material than any generation in the history of the world. Consequently, teens are coming of age in a cultural milieu in which a substantial amount of sexual temptation is readily available.
Attempting to navigate this sex-saturated culture can seem like navigating the fast-paced rapids of a white-water river. On the water, the difference between adventure and disaster is not necessarily the river or the raft but the whitewater guide, who is charged with ensuring the safe passage of those in his or her raft. Similarly, parents are charged with guiding teens through the treacherous currents of our sexually-charged culture. You are the most important factor in ensuring the safe passage of your teens.
When considering the cultural terrain, we need to make sure our efforts at navigating such terrain are grounded on God's Word. In considering what God has said about sexuality, let's remember that God didn't simply give us a list of arbitrary rules in which sex is stated as a "nono." God has given us a robust understanding of sex, providing a foundation on which to build and a framework in which to operate.
God's design of sexuality: In our rush to remove any hint of sexual immorality, let us not hastily remove any hint of sex. In Genesis 2, God created and gave Eve to Adam as his helpmate. They were "united" and became "one flesh." Implicit is the physical union between man and woman. The biblical narrative changes quite drastically in Genesis 3, when sin enters the picture. However, sex itself was never declared a sin. While Hebrews 13:4 reminds us to "keep the marriage bed pure," 1 Corinthians 7 proclaims the importance of sex between a husband and wife, reassuring us that God created sex. James 1:17 tells us that God gives good things to His people; consequently, sex in its appropriate context is not sinful but is a gift from God.
God's desires for sexuality: Since God created sex, and consequently sexuality, God owns the rights to sexuality and thus sets the standards. Neither MTV nor Cosmopolitan magazine, nor any other aspect of culture set the standards for sexuality. God holds that responsibility alone, and He has spoken quite clearly on the subject. Jesus in Matthew 19 recognized and affirmed Genesis 2 as our foundation, in which we see that God's standard for the context of sexual activity is one male and one female for life. Actions or thoughts concerning sex that fall outside of this framework are deemed as sexually immoral. Regardless of the societal curses against us for daring to utter such a declaration, Scripture is quite clear and resolute on this issue. God's standards haven't relaxed since creation and will not relax even for a sex-saturated culture, be that ancient Rome or modern America.
Parents of teens within this sexually-obsessed culture should avoid the extremes often represented among parents of youth: completely avoiding or completely embracing culture. Believers aren't called to the monastic life of quarantining themselves from the ubiquity of societal germs. Jesus prayed for his disciples, who would remain in the world even though they were not "of the world" (John 17:14-16).
The call in 1 Peter 1:1 and 2:11 is for believers to live as "aliens" and "strangers" in this world, living and acting as citizens of a heavenly kingdom rather than an earthly kingdom. They are "to abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul" (1 Pet. 2:11). While it is impossible to remove ourselves from the world, it is not impossible to remove ourselves from settings that would promote a war between our flesh and spirit. Sexual immorality is a vile, reprehensible abomination to the One who created sex and who is also perfectly pure.
The Holy One has called us to be holy, or set apart (1 Pet. 1:15-16), and "to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (Jas. 1:27). Pollution is avoided as we "honor God with our body" by "fleeing from sexual immorality" (1 Cor. 6:18-20), recognizing that our bodies have been purchased by the God who now resides within us. We are called to avoid sexual immorality by controlling our bodies, which separates believers from nonbelievers, who do not control their bodies (1 Thess. 4:3-8). God's standards, however, aren't relegated to the physical acts of sex. Jesus called for purity of mind when He affirmed that sexual thoughts that fall outside of one man and one woman for life are also sinful (Matt. 5:27-28). Jesus' statements strike like a hammer as He continues in that passage by calling us to take extreme measures to prevent sin (Matt. 5:29-30).
What you can do
Parents are called to protect their teens from sin. Practically speaking, what can you do to guide your teens through our sexual culture? Begin with these questions: 1. What steps do I need to take right now in order to guide my teen toward God's design for sex?, and 2. What steps do I need to take to protect my teen within this sexually obsessed culture?
First, talk to God about your teens and to your teens about sex. Pray for your teens and talk to them. Teens need to learn about sex from those who know them best and love them most. Be real and loving. Love covers a multitude of awkwardness.
Second, be involved. Know the voices in their lives, both media and people. Have access to your teen's life so that you can better protect him or her. Ask difficult questions. Hold them accountable and responsible. They will appreciate it in the long run.
Listen with them to the media voices in their lives. Listen to music together and watch TV shows and movies together. Talk about the messages of the media outlets while comparing them to God's teachings, which means also reading the Bible together. Don't be afraid to remove something from their life that contradicts God's ideal for sexuality. Remember the call of Jesus for extreme activity if so required. But also explain your reasons.
Third, model biblical Christianity, especially within your marriage. Show them that relationships God's way are far superior to relationships Hollywood's way.
We experience God's blessings when we follow God's design. Be willing to emphasize the positive aspects of obedience to God, not only the negatives of disobedience. Remind your teen that God's decrees always come from a loving Father, not a distant tyrant. God has given to us for our good His design and desires regarding sex. Parents are the God-given guide for teens navigating the treacherous rapids of a sex-crazed culture. Stay focused and be intentional, never forgetting to look to the Good Shepherd as your guide.
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This article is courtesy of Parenting Teens Magazine.