I am not a melancholy person.
I'm a glass-half-full, silver-lining, optimistic, light-hearted individual.
That is until recently.
I wouldn't characterize myself as depressed, at least not in the can't-get-out-of-bed way, but I am sad. I'm blue. It's more than I can write off to a bad day. As a result, I've been on a journey to discover why I feel this way, and more importantly, how to find the peace and joy God promises to those who trust in Him.
1. Identify Your Grief.
We experience grief and sadness when we face loss. In fact, I can't think of any sadness that isn't related to some sort of loss. One of the first steps in overcoming the blues is to identify where you feel a sense of loss. The most obvious loss is due to the death of a loved one. But we also experience the death of relationships and dreams.
Another form of loss is due to unmet expectations. We feel let down by friends, family, life, or even God. We expected things to be different. Maybe you had higher expectations for your marriage, or your children, or that you'd be financially stable or fulfilled in your job. Sometimes we are sad because we feel life didn't turn out the way we planned.
Perhaps your loss is due to sin. We were created to enjoy a relationship with God, but living in a lifestyle of sin causes a break in that relationship. Look carefully at your life: Are you obedient to God's commandments? Is your goal to please Him or yourself? Do you need to confess and turn away from your sin to experience peace and joy once again?
2. Reach Out to God.
Taking a self-inventory is just the first step. You may be aware of the root of your sadness, but what now? What can you do to overcome the blues?
Our sense of sadness has both spiritual and practical remedies. King David was not shy about expressing himself to God and we shouldn't be, either. The Psalms are full of expressed fear, anxiety, pain, sadness and anger. Studying the Psalms, you'll notice that every time David unloads his emotional dump truck on God, his song ends in praise. David expresses his frustration, and then chooses to put his trust in a loving and sovereign God.
Take time to specifically tell God how you feel. Share your disappointment with Him. Do this daily. Tell God about your sadness; every single time you feel it. Then be silent. And listen. Choose to trust Him.
Spend time in God's Word. Philippians 4:8 reminds us to adjust our thinking: "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things."
You cannot overcome the blues without drowning yourself in truth.
Recently, a dear friend faced the loss of a marriage, dreams and unmet expectations. I asked her how it was possible to have joy and peace in the midst of such great loss. She pointed me to The Promise, an excellent book by Robert J. Morgan.
Mr. Morgan rightly asserts that the source of joy and peace in difficult circumstances is in understanding and embracing God's promises to believers. "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). This means that every loss, every disappointment, every sadness, is covered under God's sovereign love and the promise that He can, and will, weave that loss into our life story to ultimately be for our good.
3. Reach Out to Others.
When we face sadness, we tend to cocoon.
We withdraw from those that love us because we're either too preoccupied or too exhausted to deal with anyone. We may be subconsciously trying to protect ourselves, but instead, we push away the help we need. It's all too easy to let a phone call go to voicemail rather than face a friend on the other end. Next time try this: instead, answer the phone. Tell them you're having a hard day.
Better yet, call a close friend and ask them to meet you for lunch or coffee. Seek out people you know will understand and be supportive. Tell them what you need. I've found it helpful to say upfront, "I really need to verbally process, but please, don't feel like you have to offer solutions."
Endorphins are chemicals in the brain that relieve stress and lead to feelings of happiness. Most people know that exercising is a way to release endorphins. When you're feeling blue, the last thing you want to do is exercise. Do it anyway! Work up a good sweat and release those endorphins to do their thing.
Final Thoughts
I still face moments of sadness when I take my eyes off Jesus and focus on my disappointments. But I've found great help in practicing these things: self reflection, honest conversations with God, time in His Word, reaching out to trusted friends who will listen without judgment—and a good run. It is my hope and prayer that through these things your cup will be filled, your perspective changed and your hope renewed by our Lord.
Article courtesy of HomeLife Magazine.