Most teens are underchallenged, overstressed, and filled with uncertainties about the future and dreams for the here and now. What is it, though, that teens really wish we, as adults, knew about them? These ten statements can help you, the parents of your teenagers and your youth workers begin to understand them better.
1. Make up your mind
Please decide if we are to believe in right and wrong or be inclusive and tolerant of everyone.
You are confusing us. When it comes to having to constantly debate my friends or just blindly accept that things are ultimately right or wrong, we choose to not have to be in conflict with those we spend the most time with during a normal day. Be willing to give us the reason why right and wrong are ultimate truth. Take the time to help us not only understand that by preaching at us, but by also letting us see you living out that truth in your life.
2. Put away the smoke and mirrors
Please decide to not only tell us how we ought to live, but also model how we are to live.
It gets pretty old hearing you talk about what we ought to do while you model something else. We really are not looking for you to be perfect, but we are looking for you to have integrity in your own personal life. For example, why would you tell us that obeying the law is important, yet drive 70 in a mph zone when we are headed to do missions in another state? Seems to be a double standard.
3. Do not take it personally.
We can not attend everything the student ministry offers.
There are too many options and expectations for our time and energy. Parents, teachers, coaches, and church leaders are always expecting us to be at everything that they offer. Many times our grades and future scholarships are tied to extracurricular activities. It is not that we want to skip youth group on Wednesday night, but at some point we have to rest. Can someone please get all of these folks together and ask them to plan some things together so that we are not expected to be at everything at the same time? Please help us prioritize.
4. We are not junior Christians in waiting
The same Holy Spirit living in you also lives in us.
Ask for our input and opinion in spiritual matters that affect us in your programming. Allow us to get involved in leading worship, Bible study, and other church stuff. Please do not dump it all in our laps, but be willing to help us walk through some of these spiritual pilgrimage issues with some leeway, and at the same time, some guidance from you.
5. We do not think we are always right
Sometimes we do things because we don't know what else to do.
Many of us are afraid to take a risk without having all the information we need to make a good decision. We are OK with going with a decision, and if it does not work, then we will try something else. We do what we think and feel makes the most sense at the time.
Some of you have modeled this approach for us and even though we have seen you make mistakes, we feel the pressure to make a quick decision, whether the decision we make is right or not. It goes back to that pressure thing. We are tired, stressed, and overwhelmed much of the time so making a decision can bring us temporary relief. Please help us understand to think about the long term effects of decisions without preaching at us. We are not stupid, we just feel pressured to make a decision and move on.