Depositing Godly Encouragement Into One Another

This is an excerpt from A Short Guide to Groups by Jared Musgrove & Justin Elafros

Christian encouragement—or depositing godly courage into one another through our words and actions—is a command. Yet we find it counterintuitive in a world obsessed with petty cynicism. It may also seem awkward, or maybe we are just moving too fast to employ it in our daily life. It doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, though. Like any other skill, we get better at encouragement with practice. A healthy group consistently dedicates time to “encourage one another and build one another up.” With that in mind, here are five suggestions to help you grow in your ability to encourage others.

1. Turn to the Word.

Not everyone is naturally comfortable crafting the perfect words for a given situation. In practicing encouragement, I have found that the fewer words I use of my own, the better. This realization has relieved me to encourage all the more and with greater truthfulness because I don’t need my words to encourage—I need God’s Word.

Let the Scriptures be your starting point for encouraging others. Share with fellow believers where you see the Spirit working in and through them. Point out the fruit of the Spirit you see growing in them (Gal. 5:22–23), and affirm them in their spiritual gifting and faithful use of those gifts (1 Cor. 12; Rom. 12). Celebrating someone’s spiritual fruit and gifting is a good start toward true Christian encouragement.

2. Be Specific.

Our encouragement is most meaningful when we take interest in others and are specific with our Groups and Loving One Another Well encouragement. Be observant of those in your believing community. Who is quick to volunteer to serve others? Who models self-control in their words and actions? Who exhibits patience with those who talk perhaps more than they should?

Based on what you observe, offer concrete examples of how you have seen this person live out their faith. It’s deeply encouraging to hear, “I saw God’s grace at work when you did this or said that.” Specific examples bless the hearer and show that you have taken a genuine interest in them.

3. Be Intentional.

Give thought to who could use encouragement. Our ministry teams set aside time during some of our team meetings to encourage one another. We choose an individual in advance of the meeting and spend time intentionally telling them how we see them being used by God specifically. It deepens us as individuals and as a community.

Whether we work for a church or not, we are all doing the work of ministry, and because it is difficult work, we all need encouragement. The best way to be intentional is to think ahead and praise someone based on where you see faithfulness and fruit of the Spirit in them. This intentionality goes deeper than a simple compliment. The goal is to call out where you see God’s image in them.

4. Be Selfless.

Have you ever held back from encouraging someone because you were afraid you might feed their pride? Have you ever withheld encouragement because you viewed someone as a rival in your work environment or your circle of friends? Maybe we all have, but Christian encouragement and flattery are not the same. In fact, they sit at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Don’t let fear of being seen as a flatterer cause you to curtail your genuine words of encouragement. Don’t let your own insecurities inhibit your praise of others. The one who encourages practices selflessness, taking the words of Proverbs 12:18 to heart: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” You can encourage someone for their benefit without flattering them for your own.

We have a choice to be selfish or selfless in our encouragement. We can either harm by the selfishness of our silence or diminished praise, or we can heal by the selflessness of our fruitful words driven by the Scriptures.

5. Be Courageous.

Don’t just encourage godly things already done, but encourage the pursuit of godly things not yet being done, as well. We often need godly courage to pass along godly courage.

If a friend is looking at pornography, find words to encourage them toward desiring Christlikeness instead of illicit images. If a friend is engaging in gossip, find words to encourage them toward Christ-honoring speech. Be gracious rather than legalistic, and seek to identify with your friend’s battle, no matter the Groups and Loving One Another Well battle. Make sure your encouragement is loving. Use Christian courage to confront sin with kindness and gentleness.

We believe encouragement should take its place alongside any list of spiritual disciplines. We’ve found few exercises to be more challenging and yet so affirming to our walks with Christ and the ability to benefit our brothers and sisters than the ministry of encouragement. When we encourage someone, we have the opportunity to speak healing truth into their life. We do this by grace through a heart changed by Christ and words drawn from Scripture. In this way, may we strive to excel in building up the church (1 Cor. 14:12).