More than a million albums sold, a chart-topper on the Billboard 200, his own record label and influence that stretches well beyond the bounds of Christian music, Lecrae has officially blown up. So why is he choosing now to talk about his scars?
Parenting Teens sat down for a candid conversation about the truth behind grace, the vulnerability that comes with being a dad and what Lecrae learned about himself by opening up his past for his new book, Unashamed.
PT: When you were writing Unashamed, how did it feel to revisit a lot of the harder things you’ve been through in your life?
Lecrae: It actually was very therapeutic for me. I’ve discussed a lot of these things in smaller settings before and I’ve seen how liberating it was for other people to hear some of the hard things that I’ve been through. And so for me, it was an encouraging experience to be able to kind of capsulate all of that and to be able to share with a broader audience in hopes that it would give them some freedom as well.
How did writing Unashamed make you think about the idea of grace?
Oh man. That’s the theme running through the book all over and over again. You know, I think that a lot of us live in guilt and shame, and that’s what I wanted to break people free from. Guilt says that I’ve made a mistake. Shame says that I am a mistake. But grace says your mistakes are forgiven. And I’m a living testament of forgiveness and grace, and if there’s hope for me, there’s hope for anybody.
What does it mean to you to be unashamed? Why did that resonate as the title for the book?
I think Unashamed has multiple layers. I think at the top layer, obviously it’s me being unashamed of my faith—me being unashamed to admit that I’m a follower of Jesus.
But then there’s a deeper level of not carrying myself in a self-righteous manner, but being unashamed to admit that I am flawed. That I am not perfect. That I do need grace. That I do need forgiveness, and being unashamed to admit that and not walking around as if I’m unflawed.
In order to do that, you have to be unashamed to talk about your scars, and unashamed to talk about the ugliness that does not define you, because you’re not defined by your past or the things that have been done to you. You have to be unashamed to point to that, because it makes grace look that much more wonderful.
How has your story affected the way you parent your kids now?
Well, one thing I can definitely say is I don’t try to parade myself as a superhero in front of my kids. I want them to see that I’m imperfect so that they don’t have any expectations of trying to be perfect in front of me, but that they can be honest.
I constantly apologize to them when I’m wrong. I admit my fears. I admit some of my struggles to them so that they are able to process that dad is a human and that it’s OK for me to be afraid and it’s OK for me to talk about my fears to him because he’s expressed a level of vulnerability with me. And just to open up the lines of communication for us.
You talked about imperfection—a lot of artists struggle with perfection. Kanye West was literally taking down newly released songs recently so he could keep working on them. How do you think about perfection as an artist?
I think we have to embrace how imperfect we are and the need for being perfected. And so I tell people all the time, I’m not perfect, but I’m being perfected. And that’s the journey of life.
The journey of life is not striving to leave this earth flawless and perfect, but it’s to live knowing that you know God has already accepted you—that you’re already seen perfect in His eyes. So you live out of that reality and you strive out of that reality.
And so I think you know fighting for perfection is very idealistic. It’s never been achieved. There’s not a perfect person walking on this planet. Everything is going to have its blemishes, and so I think when we can embrace that, but then work out of a desire to demonstrate that we want better and we’re grateful for the opportunity to work out of that, then I think there’s hope.
You’re in a unique position with your platform to speak into teenagers’ lives. What do you want them specifically to take from your music and your message?
I think the biggest piece is identity and purpose. I think a lot of young people struggle with their identity and they’re looking for purpose and they’re trying to define themselves, whether that’s how many likes they get on social media or how popular they are. They’re looking to define themselves by other people’s standards instead of just knowing you were made with worth, you were made with purpose, you were made valuable and you don’t have to earn that value from other people’s acceptance.
I always say if you live for people’s acceptance, you’ll die from their rejection. And I think you see that with teenagers. They live for the acceptance of their peers, and when they’re shamed or bullied online or in person, they crumble. They die internally because they feel as if their worth and their values have somehow been diminished. And that’s not true. So that would be my biggest encouragement is them having a strong sense of identity and worth and purpose that’s innate, and it’s not about how you can earn that from other people.
What advice would you give parents of teens who are seeking notoriety and fame as a Christian?
I would say it’s kind of antithetical to what we stand for. I mean, we’re really supposed to be pursuing humility, not pursuing celebrity. And so I think we exercise our gifts and we use them in a way that says, man I’m so grateful for these gifts and they really ultimately point back to the Giver. But it’s not for me to shine. I’m the moon and the moon doesn’t really have any light of its own. It just reflects the light of the sun. We should shine bright, but remember that it’s not our light the first place, we’re really just reflecting the light that God is shining through us.
I know you’ve done a lot of work with dads, so what encouragement or advice would you give specifically to the dads of teens?
Oh man, there’s so much I could say. But I guess I would just start with saying be present. Be present and engage the hearts of your children. I think a lot of times we believe as long as we’re providing, we’re doing our job providing and protecting, but there’s a presence that’s necessary in drawing our kids out and getting to know them and getting to know their hearts and in them feeling as if they have a genuine connection with their father. I think that’s very big, as well as just demonstrating a sense of presence and engagement with our kids—especially teenagers, because that’s a critical stage.
Continue Reading: From Rehab to Redemption, The True Story of Lecrae Moore
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