My single mother did an incredible job with three children. She was (and is) my hero, but there was always something missing from my life as a young boy.
As the father of two sons, I can't count the number of baseballs or footballs we've thrown together. My wife didn't always appreciate the balls that flew through our den, but she was a good sport and always remembered that building memories was even more important than table lamps.
My boys have a hard time believing I only remember throwing a ball with my dad one time in my life. It was late one afternoon, and I had wanted to learn to throw a football. I was about 12 years old and excited about the dad who had just recently come back into my life. We went outside. He had been drinking. We threw a couple of balls.
I couldn't catch them. He got upset with me. He said a few choice words about my inabilities and went back inside to his beer and television.
That is a sad story, but in fairness, my dad died a couple of years ago, sober and reconciled to his family. In his final years, he painted for me a picture of grace and finishing well. I miss him today.
Still, when it came to seeking wisdom as a child, I felt I was on my own. I thank God today for the men who have invested in me through the church. I remember several men who took a special interest in me as a young boy. They would hand me a quarter (which bought a bag full of candy back then) or a piece of candy and then share a nugget of truth with me.
It didn't always seem like truth at the time, and frankly they probably didn't know they were sharing something as important as it was, but looking back I remember those words even today.
They would say things like "Be good to your mother this week" and "Do well in school so you'll be successful someday." Throughout the week, when tempted to do otherwise, I would remember those words. As corny or simple as it may seem now, those were like honey to me at the time because I did not have anyone else speaking those principles into my life.
One Sunday morning, I remember my mom and I entering the side door at church. I'm not sure where my brother and sister were at this point, but I recall this being the point on Sundays where my mom went one way and I went the other. That morning, after my mom was out of sight, I had a few moments to spare before the start of Sunday School. I decided it was just enough time to go outside and play, perhaps even skip Sunday School that day. Of course, this was not something I had permission to do, and good Baptist boys never skip Sunday School, but it was what I wanted to do.
As I turned to exit the church building, there was one of my wisdom investors. He was an elderly man, or at least he seemed old to me, although he's still alive today, so maybe he wasn't. Anyway, he looked at me, stuck a quarter in my hand, and said, "Boy, be good to your momma this week." I took the quarter, stuck it in my pocket, and headed to Sunday School. As I thought about those words, "be good to your momma," I realized the wisest way to do that was to go to class. I was not afraid of the man, but I respected him greatly and wanted his approval more than anything. He had shared a piece of wisdom with me, and it kept me from doing something I may have later regretted.
To the child of a single mom, your words are gold. Did you know that? Do you realize the potential weight of your influence in a young person's life?
My suspicion is that the young people in your church are never going to come to you and ask for tidbits of wisdom, which might make you think they don't care. But take it from one with experience: I would never be the husband, father, and man I am today ... and the pastor I am today ... had it not been for a few men in my church who were willing to intentionally invest in me in the formative years of my life.
As I read the Bible, the concept of investing in the fatherless seems like a mandate. You may wonder what you can do. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Look around.
Who are the fatherless children in your church? Your church is rare if there are none. Venture outside the church walls and you will find dozens of programs that allow you to invest in fatherless children. Again, you will have to look. As much as they need this, they are not coming to you.
2. Speak words.
Be intentional to plant seeds of affirmation into the life of a fatherless child. Even better, take a young person to a ballgame or buy him a meal. Some of life's best conversations happen over a hamburger.
3. Enjoy the harvest.
You may never know all the good you are doing when you choose to invest in the fatherless, but trust me, great will be your heavenly reward. As God has blessed my ministry, there are no doubt men who will enjoy the favor of God because of the part they played in it. God bless those who build His kingdom by investing in the fatherless in our churches and communities.
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This article is courtesy of Mature Living Magazine