My oldest child was born on Friday, May 12, 1978. On Saturday, May 13, Joe (my husband) graduated from the University of South Carolina. Sunday, May 14, was Mother’s Day. That was a memorable Mother’s Day! I have pictures in the hospital of my first Mother’s Day celebration. My first Mother’s Day gift — a plaid blouse — is forever memorialized in Ty’s baby book.
The next gift I really remember came on Mother’s Day 1993. We had just moved to the country. Joe and the boys gave me portable fishing chairs to use beside a little pond we gained access to. I remember the chairs so vividly because I hate fishing. The memory of Joe, Ty, and John seriously trying to justify this gift and convince me of the reasons I would really love not one, but three, fishing chairs still makes me laugh. (Hmmm … three of them, three fishing chairs. What an odd coincidence.)
As I continue my stroll down Mother’s Day Memory Lane, I realize the things I cherish the most are all the cards and letters I have received from the children over the years. Each year they would always ask, “Mom, what do you really, really want this year for Mother’s Day?” My answer was always the same: “I want a letter from you.” I cherish reading and re-reading their expressions of love. I enjoy comparing their messages from year to year, noting the progression of their writing styles and the maturity of their thought processes. (Maybe I have been homeschooling too long!) And I never tire of hearing that they love me.
As a family, our most treasured Mother’s Day tradition is cooking lunch for Joe’s mother and my mother. After church, we always congregate at our house and have a special day together — Joe’s parents, my parents, and our children. Our mothers are no different than I am in one regard: I know the gifts they cherish the most are the written and verbal expressions of love and appreciation they receive.
The Proverbs 31 Yearning
I think every mother has an innate yearning for the fulfillment of the following Proverbs 31 passage in her life:
“Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: ‘Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all’” (NASB).
As odd and self-serving as it may sound, we must intentionally teach our children to honor us. After all, this is the first commandment that ends in a blessing (Ephesians 6:2). We don’t accomplish this task by decreeing loudly and often, “Honor me!” We accomplish it mainly by example. As you and your husband make it a point to honor your parents, you are teaching your children how to honor you. As they grow in spiritual maturity and as they begin families of their own, they will draw on the example you set in your home for honoring your parents.
I have an abridged audio version of Dennis Rainey’s book The Tribute. The principle of the book is one we should all take to heart. He walks readers through the process of writing a tribute to their parents, regardless of whether they have been wonderful or less than stellar. I have actually taught this principle in my daughter’s creative writing class. We listened to the tape together and then I had the girls write a tribute to their parents.
A Writing Lesson with Eternal Reward
For Mother’s Day, take some time to teach your children to write a tribute to one of their grandmothers. Begin by reading some verses together on the importance of honoring one another. End by reading Ephesians 6:2. Then guide them in the writing process by brainstorming, asking a lot of questions, and guiding the discussion as they answer your questions. “What one thing do you love about Grandmama the most? (If your children get stuck, provide them with suggestions to get the ball rolling.) What is your favorite memory of Grandmama? Do you have a funny story about something you did with Grandmama? What have you learned from Grandmama (about behavior, manners, the Bible, or life in general)? Write a paragraph or letter for her telling her how much you love her and what you appreciate specifically about her.”
Before you engage in this activity, write a letter to your mother and have your husband write a letter to his mother. Read these to your children as part of your writing lesson. Your letters will be powerful examples for them of what to say and how to say it. As always, keep in mind your children’s ages and abilities as you engage in this activity. For children too young — or too frustrated to write on their own — have them dictate their thoughts and emotions while you write them down. This writing lesson is an important part of your academic program. You are teaching spiritual values and composition skills simultaneously. If you need to, scrap your lesson plans for a day, and devote your time and energy to this task — and record it in your plan book as school time.
If you will take time to write letters of honor and appreciation on holidays (like Father’s Day, Christmas, Memorial Day, and others), this process will become a normal part of your children’s lives. And as this practice takes root in their hearts, it won’t be long before your children learn to meaningfully and sincerely rise up and call you blessed. (This is not self-serving — remember, you are teaching your children to obey that first commandment that ends in a blessing.)