Introduction:
I want to tell you at the outset that this morning’s message is rated PG. Today we will look at the ancient equivalent of Desperate Housewives, where the admirable young man, Joseph, is solicited by a wealthy politician’s wife. What he does in response to the not-too-subtle propositions of this woman holds some vital, up-to-the-minute lessons for us in this sensual world if we’re going to AVOID THE FATAL ATTRACTION.
There was a lady who lived next to a little boy that had a habit of getting into trouble—kind of a Dennis the Menace type of kid. On one occasion, this lady volunteered to babysit him. As the evening passed, the little boy gave this kind lady a hard time, so she sat him down in a chair for time-out. What she didn’t notice was that her purse was sitting next to the chair, and when she wasn’t looking, he would reach into her purse and pull stuff out. He located her driver’s license and pulled it out.
The next time she entered the room, he smiled and said, “I know all about you. I know how much you weigh—175 lbs. Not only that I know how old you are—you’re 52 years old. Not only that, I know why you never had kids.” The woman asked, “How do you know that?” And he answered, “It’s says you got an F in sex.”
We’ve got far too many people that are failing in their battle with sexual temptation. Truth be told, there are some married couples in this room that are struggling in this area. There are some single adults here who thought sex would solve their problems and have discovered the empty, unsatisfying, damaging truth. There are some teenagers here that are playing with fire, scorching scars upon themselves, body and soul. We need to talk about sex. Let’s start by affirming the straight truth from God about sex:
God’s Word on Sex
1. God calls us to radical purity.
Regardless of your circumstances, your needs, your disposition, this is God’s will for your life: For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God (I Thess. 4:3-5).
“What do you mean by radical purity?” Listen to the standard of moral purity God expects of us in Eph. 5:3-5: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."
2. You are targeted for immorality.
The warning of 1 Pet. 5:8 applies to all temptation to sin, including temptation to sexual sin: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8). It is not a difficult thing in our sexually saturated culture to see him stalking you.
3. Sex within the boundaries of marriage brings great good; sex outside the boundaries of marriage brings death.
Solomon was the son of the most famous adulterer in biblical history. He saw up close the damage, the dysfunction, and the death that violating God’s established boundaries for sex brings. So when he sits down with his son, as he does in Proverbs, for the father-son talk, he shoots straight:
Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Prov. 5:15-19)
Too often, the message that is sent out from churches is “Sex is bad; don’t do it.” Instead we should be sending this message: "God is all for sex. It was His idea. Sex between a husband and a wife is awesome, and it's worth waiting for."
But sex outside God’s boundaries will kill everything important to you. Prov. 7 describes what you can ultimately expect from immoral behavior. It pictures sexual temptation as a prostitute who propositions a young man. Look what happens when he takes the offer. With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. (v. 21-23).
Three word pictures are used to show us what will happen. All three are animals that are soon going to be dead.
First, the ox. The ox has a rope around its neck. It's being led away to be butchered; it's going to bleed and bellow and moan until it dies.
Next a stag is mentioned, once running strong and free through the forest, but now caught in a trap awaiting the hunter’s arrow.
Then, there is the mention of a wild bird, which knew the freedom to soar, but has been ensnared. It beats against the bars as hard as it can, but it will make no difference. It’s over.
What do these images mean?
They mean that when we experience sex outside the boundaries God has set, your acting like an animal.
They teach us that when it comes to sexual immorality, what looks like it will delight you will actually destroy you. What starts out tasting like honey is going to turn into poison. Be sure your sin will find you out, says God (Num. 32:23).
4. The main battle with temptation to sexual sin is won or lost in the mind.
There is a reason Phil. 4:8 instructs us to think on things that are true, noble, right, and pure. Because, as Prov. 23:7 puts it, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
Jesus Himself tells us that the root of every sin we commit is out of the inner man… It is out of the inner man that evil thoughts, murder, adultery, and sexual immorality proceed (Matt. 15:19-20). The power of thought and attitude is so linked to sin that Jesus said, Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt. 5:28). Therefore, the great wisdom of God’s Word calls to us: Above all else, guard your inner being, your thoughts, for out of it flow the issues of life. (Prov. 4:23)
Joseph and the Seductress
Take a look at how these truths play out for Joseph. When we last saw Joseph, he had been sold as a slave to a passing group of Midianite merchants by his jealous, immoral brothers. Caged like an animal, Joseph was taken to Egypt, where he was placed on the slave block for the highest bidder.
As we open Gen. 39, the Bible reports that a high-ranking official in Pharoah’s court—a man named Potiphar—buys the strapping young Jewish teenager to work in his house. Verses 2-6 tell us that the Lord blessed Joseph so that everything he put his hand to succeeds and thrives. As Potiphar observes Joseph and notes that anything he oversees prospers. “Joseph’s God must be with him,” Potiphar reasons, and he decides to promote him to the overseer of his household.
Around eleven years passes between the time Joseph was a teenager walking out to meet his murderous brothers, and this point in his life when he is elevated to a position of favor, authority, and luxury. We all feel good that the tables have turned so well for Joseph.
But there’s a major temptation waiting for him right under Potiphar’s nose. Read about it with me beginning in v. 7. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. And after a time his master's wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, "Lie with me." But he refused and said to his master's wife, "Behold, because of me my master has no concern about anything in the house, and he has put everything that he has in my charge. He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except yourself, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" And as she spoke to Joseph day after day, he would not listen to her, to lie beside her or to be with her.
But one day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house, she caught him by his garment, saying, "Lie with me." But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house.
Now pause to consider the force how this temptation worked on Joseph. Think of the rationalizations that came to him. “I’m a slave. Slaves aren’t allowed to take a wife. My chances of ever experiencing sex are slim to none. Since I’m in charge, I can command privacy. No one need know. It will be safe sex. And this is the boss’ wife. It’s a good idea to stay in her good graces or you could lose your job.”
To intensify the temptation, Mrs. Potiphar personally issued the invitation every day. And don’t you just know she orchestrated different ways to add to the enticement—a brush of her hand, wonderful perfume, immodest clothing. Lust had consumed her and Joseph was the goal. It would be so easy to succumb. Just this once. It won’t hurt anybody.”
Then there came the day when Joseph entered the house and noticed that it is unusually quiet. There were no servants about. Joseph didn’t understand what was happening until Potiphar’s wife made her boldest move yet. She didn’t just ply him with words this time. No, instead she grabs hold of Joseph so tightly that when he jerked away from her and dashed out into the street, he left his outer robes in her hands.
Avoiding the Fatal Attraction
What can we learn from Joseph? Just this: to win in the battle against temptation, you must meet at least three requirements.
1. Guard your heart and mind.
What is implicitly clear about Joseph is that he had made up his mind about lines he would not cross before the temptation came. Like Job, who said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to gaze upon a young maiden,” Joseph had established specific standards which governed his responses (Job 31:1).
Not only that, but Joseph was careful about what he exposed himself to. He didn’t try to be polite about the issue. Verse 10 tells us that he refused to even listen to her or linger in her presence. As much as he was able, he kept his distance from temptation. And when things starting closing in, v. 12 says he literally ran from the tempting moment
Let’s shoot straight here. We all know how we justify tuning in on tempting stuff. We toy with sin, thinking we are the master. We linger when we should be running. Joseph didn’t play games with something so lethal. He guarded his mind.
2. Understand how temptation works.
Joseph was not fooled by the smooth charm of this wealthy woman. He knew what was going on. James 1:14-15 helps us know how temptation works. Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Verse 14 uses words from the sport of fishing. A fisherman will use lures that look like the real thing to attract unsuspecting fish with the promise of satisfaction. Of course, as soon as the fish takes the bait, he will realize that he’s been fooled--that it is only a substitute, a counterfeit—but by then it will be too late. The hook has him, pulling him where he does not want to go.
In the same way, temptation is crafted to your cravings. “My husband doesn’t meet my needs like he could.” “If you really love me, it’s okay.” “Who will ever find out?” “Look, we’re going to get married soon anyway.” “I’m so terribly lonely. God understands—that’s why He brought you into my life.” “What’s grace all about if it won’t cover something as natural as this?” In a matter of seconds, you will decide either to act on the temptation or to resolutely reject it.
The moment your will consents to what the temptation offers—the moment you couple the misuse of God-given desire with willful intent, sin is conceived. If left unrepented of, it will grow up to kill what you cherish.
There will always be Mrs. Potiphars out there in all their forms—just a mouseclick on the internet; just a rental at Blockbuster; just a channel change on premium cable; just a look at the magazine; the lure of that secretary in your office; the pull of that guy who sits two rows away in English class. Their goal is to break you down--making it sound safe, right, normal, cool, needs-meeting, and without consequences. Just remember something: It’s a lie. No matter how beautiful or appealing it seems, it is all counterfeit. Don’t’ be deceived.
3. Maximize the consequences; minimize the benefits.
Joseph called it right. In v. 9, he labeled what Mrs. Potiphar was proposing a great wickedness and sin against God. Sex with Potiphar’s wife not only was a sin against the man who had been kind to him and trusted him, but, more importantly, a sin against God.
Randy Alcorn met with a man who had been a leader in a Christian organization until he committed immorality. Alcorn asked him, "What could have been done to prevent this?" The man paused only for a moment, then said with haunting pain and precision, "If only I had really known, really thought through and weighed what it would cost me and my family and my Lord, I honestly believe I would never have done it." Wisdom takes the long look at how my choice will impact the future.
I’ve hung a personalized list of the anticipated consequences of immorality in my office. You fill in the blanks with the appropriate names.
Personalized List of Anticipated Consequences of Immorality (Randy Alcorn)
Grieving my Lord; displeasing the One whose opinion most matters.
Dragging into the mud Christ's sacred reputation.
Having to one day look Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and account for why I did it.
Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.
Suffering of innocent people around me who would get hit by the shrapnel of my sin.
Untold hurt to _____________, my best friend and loyal wife.
Loss of _____________'s respect and trust.
Hurt to and loss of credibility with my children, _____________and _____________
If my blindness should continue or my family be unable to forgive, I could lose my wife and my children forever.
Shame to my church family.
Shame and hurt to my friends, and especially those I've led to Christ and discipled.
Guilt that would be awfully hard to shake.
Loss of self-respect, discrediting my own name, and invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.
Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my wife.
Disqualifying myself after having preached to others.
Forfeiting forever certain opportunities to serve God.
Laughter, rejoicing and blasphemous smugness by those who disrespect God and the church (2 Samuel 12:14).
Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person with whom I have committed adultery.
Possible diseases that would bring pain, act as a constant reminder to me and my wife of my deeds, possibly infect _____________, and in the case of AIDS, even cause her death, as well as my own.
Possible pregnancy, with its personal and financial implications, as well as the stigma to the child
Source: Randy Alcorn, The exorbitant price of sexual sin
Note: If you have adults struggling with pornography addiction, Pure Online has excellent online recovery resources.