As Christian parents, we face a greater challenge than non-Christians in raising our children. The reason is that those of who are seeking to raise our children to understand and embrace the principles of faith given to us through God's Word are already bucking the world and the substandard expectations of the world. For those who willingly accept these expectations, there is little to no resistance to contend with in parenting. When we choose to lower the standards rather than raise the bar for our children, it simply makes parenting much easier.
In Deuteronomy 6:1-9 we find these words of instruction to parents:
"This is the command — the statutes and ordinances — the LORD your God has instructed me to teach you, so that you may follow them in the land you are about to enter and possess. Do this so that you may fear the LORD your God all the days of your life by keeping all His statutes and commands I am giving you, your son, and your grandson, and so that you may have a long life. Listen, Israel, and be careful to follow them, so that you may prosper and multiply greatly, because Yahweh, the God of your fathers, has promised you a land flowing with milk and honey. Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
The above passage reveals to us a biblical pattern for raising our children in a way in which they can experience God in a real and personal way. As parents, we must live out our faith in our own lives first. It is impossible to give away something we don't have. Therefore we are admonished to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our might. We must first apply God's words to our hearts then teach them diligently to our children. This is how we are to parent according to God's design.
My wife and I had the privilege of being introduced to a resource some years ago that changed the way we relate to God, to each other, and to our children. It was a resource that redirected our focus as individuals and as a couple. Not only did it impact the way we related to God and each other, it also impacted the way we parented our children and structured our family life. The name of this resource is Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God by Henry Blackaby and Claude King. There are "Seven Realities of Experiencing God" addressed in this resource and they each were transformational.
As these seven realities became real to us as individuals, God opened our eyes to see Him in such a new way that our lives were changed forever. Our beliefs about God, ourselves as individuals created in His image, each other, our marriage, and our family all changed for the better. Our awareness of His presence in the world and His presence in our relationship started us on a journey that hasn't stopped and hopefully never will. These seven realities freed us to live in the world without being of the world.
Let me share with you how these seven realities have impacted the way we have related to each other as husband and wife and how God has used them in our lives as parents in raising our children to stand firm in their faith.
REALITY 1: God is always at work around you.
What you believe about God impacts how you view all things that occur in life, including raising children. You must believe that He is real. Wrapped up in the author's treatise on faith in his letter to the Hebrews, we find these words:
"Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For our ancestors won God's approval by it. By faith we understand that the universe was created by God's command, so that what is seen has been made from things that are not visible. By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was approved as a righteous man, because God approved his gifts, and even though he is dead, he still speaks through his faith. By faith Enoch was taken away so he did not experience death, and he was not to be found because God took him away. For prior to his removal he was approved, since he had pleased God. Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him" (Heb. 11:1-6).
To say I believe in God is a faith statement. There is no courage in making such a statement in the security of a Christian gathering. However, to make such a statement while standing in front of a group of antagonistic parents, knowing that it could possibly cost us our position among colleagues or peers is a different thing. Remember it is what we do that reveals what we truly believe. Until our words are verified by our actions, they remain empty.
As parents, we must be forever mindful of the beliefs we are communicating to our children by our actions. It is a true statement that the values our children learn are caught far more than they are taught.
REALITY 2: God pursues a continuing love relationship with you.
The greatest arena of relationships through which God can prepare us to live godly lives is through the family. God can love and teach our children through us, preparing them to face an ungodly world in ways reserved only for these most intimate relationships. This is one of the reasons why the family is so important to God.
REALITY 3: God invites you to become involved with Him in His work.
For those who are married, God has invited you to become involved with Him in His work in the life of your spouse and family. He desires to love your spouse through you. How you receive one another as family members reflects how you receive the One who has sent them to you. If God has brought children into your lives, He has done so in order that you may join
Him in His work in their lives as well. All this is done for His kingdom's purpose, preparing each family member to be able to stand with Christ in the secular world.
REALITY 4: God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes and His ways.
As we become more aware of God's activity in the world and of His desire to love us and involve us in His work, we become more in tune to His voice and aware of His speaking to us by the Holy Spirit. As parents, we know our children's voices or cries. We can pick them out in a crowd. As children, they are in tune with our voices as well. God speaks to us on a personal level, but we must model and teach spending time with Him in order to help our families recognize when God is speaking as opposed to the voice of the world or of self.
REALITY 5: God's invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
When God invited us to work with Him in the life of each other and family, it led to a crisis of belief that required us to trust and obey. God places your spouse and family on your hearts to a far greater degree than any other people in the world. When you asked your spouse to marry you or you accepted the proposal of marriage, it took a leap of faith. Then when you became a parent, you were led to a crisis of belief that required faith and action as well. In both instances, you had to believe that God was able to help meet the challenges an unbelieving world would throw at you. Your faith coupled with exemplary action is what God uses to help prepare your family to be God's people in a world that does not value Christian faith.
REALITY 6: You must make major adjustments in your life to join God in what He is doing.
To join God in what He is doing in the life of your spouse, children, and others causes you to make major adjustments in your life. One of the greatest adjustments you are called to make is that of denying your personal desires in order to serve others. Denying self is antithetical in today's society. To think of others over one's own desires or welfare is a major decision that many do not understand. However, as you practice serving others and putting others before self, you become living examples to your children and others, teaching them what is most important in life.
REALITY 7: You come to know God by experience as you obey Him and He accomplishes His work through you.
The rewards of parenting are not necessarily immediate. We have to understand that we may have to wait patiently for God's timing or possible clarification of His purpose when life is hard. In our age of immediate gratification, we want what we want and we want it now. If we do not see immediate results or compensation for our efforts, we become disheartened or belligerent. However, God does not work on our time table but rather according to His eternal purpose.
This article is courtesy of Deacon Magazine.