Many people suffer from stored anger.
It manifests in different ways for different people—it can make you overly critical, bitter, cynical or even depressed.
Eliminating Your Anger
If anger is controlling you, I have a remedy that only requires three things:
A pen
Paper (plenty of it)
Alone time with God
When you have these things, open your heart to God. Ask Him to bring to your mind all of the people who have hurt you in the past. Begin with your father, mother and siblings, teachers throughout your educational career, supervisors and co-workers.
Make two columns. In one column, list the name of the individual, and then ask God to bring to your mind ways in which they have hurt you. Write down every memory that comes to mind. This may take an hour, or longer.
Next, set aside another hour with God, and ask Him to help you remember how you responded to each of these hurts. Ask yourself questions such as,
Did I talk to my father about this?
If so, how did he respond?
If not, why did I not confront him?
Ask similar questions about each of the individuals who have hurt you in the past. Chances are you will find that you processed very little hurt and anger with the individuals that hurt you.
Jesus' Command for Dealing with Anger
Scripture challenges us to process anger quickly: "Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the devil an opportunity" (Ephesians 4:26-27).
Anger was meant to be a visitor, not a resident.
The challenge is to get rid of anger before dark and the idea is that anger is to be processed.
Jesus told us clearly what to do when we feel hurt and angry toward someone who has wronged us. "If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,' you must forgive him" (Luke 17:3-4).
Clearly the pattern is, if someone treats us unfairly and we experience hurt and anger, we are to confront them hoping that they will apologize, and we can forgive them.
If they don't apologize, Jesus says, "If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won't listen, bring one or two more with you.... If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn't pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you" (Matthew 18:15-17).
We should make every effort to reconcile with those who have hurt us. But, if they refuse to be reconciled, then we are to release them to God, who is just. We are not to waste our time and energy trying to make them pay for their wrongdoing.
Spending Time with God when You're Angry
Why am I bringing God into this process? Because you are not likely to resolve long-term stored anger without the help of God.
God is both loving and just, that He is willing to forgive all who repent of their sins, and that He will bring judgment upon those who fail to repent. In fact, we are told in Scripture,
"Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord" (Romans 12:19).
When we release to God those individuals who have hurt us in the past, we are putting them in good hands. As a righteous God, He will judge all people. We call aloud to God the names of the people who hurt us. We read to God the things they did that deeply hurt us, and we release the hurt and the individual to God, consciously putting them in His hands and releasing the individual and our anger to God.
Article courtesy of HomeLife magazine.