Not the Boss of Me: Setting Good Digital Boundaries

This is an excerpt from HomeLife Magazine.

I couldn’t wait to wrap my hands around a steaming mug of maple-pecan roast one recent chilly morning. Hopefully, it would snap the sleepy out of my brain and get me on my way. I glanced down at my cellphone next to the coffee maker where I’d plugged it in the night before. As I disabled the airplane mode, about a half dozen or more notifications began their usual morning dance, gliding down from the top of my screen.

A few social media followers liked my recent post about my butternut squash soup. There was a news alert from a local TV station about an upcoming visit from a well-known celebrity. Five new emails were in my inbox from companies I’d previously purchased from, alerting me to new sales on their products.

This montage of messages screaming at me through the screen threatened to derail my day before it had barely started. I knew all too well the stifling feeling of stress that was beginning to weasel its way into my brain wasn’t my phone’s fault. My device was just sitting there innocently in its cute bubble gum-pink case as these requests bossed their way into my morning. Still, I felt like taking that electronic contraption and chucking it against the kitchen subway tile, wanting to smash it to smithereens. Maybe that would stop the incessant scrolling and make people leave me alone.

I have an ongoing quandary with my phone. It certainly can be a useful tool — housing my calendar, grocery list, and an online banking app. But often it seems my phone becomes the boss of me. If I’m not intentional to keep it in check, it can quickly become a tangent. It beeps, dings, and buzzes, tempting me to pick it up once again as I lose precious time that could be spent tackling the tasks of the day.

Ephesians 5:15-17 urges us to: “Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise—making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” To help us extrapolate the instructions God is giving us about managing our time, let’s look at the original Greek meaning of a few key words and phrases.

The Greek word for “walk” is peripateó. More than placing one foot in front of the other, it literally means “to conduct your life properly.” And how are we to walk? With careful attention. The deeper Greek meaning of “careful” in this verse is “accurately, diligently, and circumspectly.” That final word isn’t commonly used. It means “to fully investigate all circumstances and possible outcomes.”

We’re also instructed to make the best use of our time. This Greek phrase conveys the concept of redeeming from loss by making the most of the present opportunity. We’re to be proactive and intentional in filling our time.

That can be difficult when our phone provides an ongoing digital distraction. Checking it too often prevents us from the important tasks we have at work and home. It may even keep us from connecting relationally with someone who might need an encouraging word from us or keep us from connecting with someone God placed in our path to give us encouragement or wisdom.

If you have the same phone struggle as I do, perhaps it’s time for us to set some boundaries. It may be as simple as leaving the phone in another room overnight or turning it off after a certain hour each day. Or it may require something more drastic like turning off all notifications, or even delet- ing social media apps and only hopping on those sites when we’re in front of our computer. These actions can help us cut down on distractions and navigate our days by doing what God has called us to do: make the best use of our time.

Let’s go to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to help us choose prudently how we interact with our phones, using them as tools rather than allowing them to morph into tangents. God can enable us to spend our time in a way that honors Him as He teaches us what it means to walk wisely.